Stop Leading and Bleeding

When Clergy Experience Domestic Abuse....

Scripture tells us to......

“Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” — Galatians 6:2 (KJV)

October is often a month dedicated to honoring and appreciating those who serve in ministry. We celebrate pastors, ministers, chaplains, clergy, and spiritual leaders who pour into the lives of others. But as we honor those who lead, perhaps we also need to ask a difficult question:

Who is caring for the caregiver?

Domestic abuse is not confined to one community, one socioeconomic group, one denomination, or one profession. And it does not stop at the church doors. According to the CDC's most recent 2023/2024 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, more than 43 million women and nearly 21 million men in the United States have experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetimes. In the 12 months preceding the survey, an estimated 6.7 million women and 2.8 million men experienced one or more of these forms of intimate partner violence.

The numbers are staggering—but behind every statistic is a person.

And among those people may be pastors, ministers, clergy members, clergy spouses, ministry leaders, and ministry families. Some may be sitting in our pews.

Some may be standing behind our pulpits. Some may be preaching about love while privately experiencing fear. Some may be encouraging others to seek healing while silently bleeding themselves.

This is the conversation we don't talk about enough. What happens when the person everyone looks to for strength is the person who needs a safe place to say, “I need help”? What happens when ministry expectations, reputation, shame, fear, or misunderstanding of Scripture make someone afraid to speak? And what happens when we become so concerned with protecting a ministry's image that we fail to protect the person?

Daughters of Destiny Ministries believes it is time to break the silence!

Not to attack the Church.

Not to dishonor clergy.

Not to expose people for the sake of exposure.

But to create space for truth, safety, accountability, compassion, and healing. Because the same Church that tells people, “Come as you are,” must also become a safe place for people to say, “This is what is happening to me.”

It is time to stop leading and bleeding in silence. Stay Tuned..